My mind can be a rushing waterfall of thoughts...words...ideas...
So much so that it keeps me awake at night, struggling to shut them off until they finally win and force me to get out of bed and write them down.
Tonight, it's the lyrics to a song that won't let me rest. A song that meant so much to me years ago, but one I had completely forgotten about.
You know how songs, like certain smells, can transport you to a particular time in your life?
If I hear any song from Francesca Batistelli's album My Paper Heart I am suddenly running the trails in Eagle, Colorado once again because it was what played in my earbuds the year I first began training to be a runner.
The playlist from a 70's ride I did last month on my Peloton bike got me thinking of the songs I would play on the eight-track (yes, I'm that old) in my parent's bedroom as I dusted the furniture--one of my weekly chores growing up.
Then there are the songs that take me back to harder times--when I was hurting and heartbroken--and I'm left with a different feeling.
That's what happened this evening as Robert and I watched the four finalists perform on The Voice. One of the contenders, Kirk Jay, sang the Rascal Flatt's song, I Won't Let Go.
First, let me tell you, I'm a pretty big Rascal Flatt's fan. For me, many of their songs have a special memory attached. When Robert and I were dating, I sang one of their songs to him, Bless the Broken Road, and it became "our" song. We danced to it on our wedding day. When Zechariah asked me what song I would like for our mother-son dance at his wedding, I chose My Wish. Now I can't listen to that song without crying every time!
Many of my tears were shed while listening to I Won't Let Go as well--tonight no exclusion. The song talks about the storms of life, times when you think you're lost and alone, parts of life so dark you can no longer cope.
I've been there, and maybe you have too.
Maybe you're there right now, and you're the reason I needed to get out of bed tonight and write this. Because maybe, just maybe, you need to hear Jesus sing the words to this song to you just like he did to me.
You see, I really like Gary LeVox's voice, the lead singer of Rascal Flatt's, but it wasn't his voice I was hearing as I listened to I Won't Let Go over and over again during the hardest times of my life.
It was Jesus singing those lyrics to me.
They were His promises to me.
Jesus was the one telling me it hurt His heart to see me cry.
He sees you when you cry...and it hurts His heart. He will dry your eyes just like he did for me. He will fight your fight, hold you tight...
and He won't let go.